A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

I am not sure if you have noticed from my lack of blogging, but I have been in a bit of a funk lately. No real reason, it may just be end of school blues. That is right Scott has this week and then one more week of classes, then finals and that is it. We are done with law school!!! And then he just has to study all the time for the bar exam in July. WILL IT EVER END! I say that more from what I think Scott must feel like, but I in my small part feel it too.

Anyway so I know everyone out there is wondering "What have the Hiltons been up to these past however many days?" And this brings me to the title of this post... a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

Friday we went into the design center and approved the elevation for the front of our house and chose the colors. I LOVE IT!

So for now they are getting the permits and all that stuff and if all goes well we will be breaking ground mid-April.

Also on Friday Emma and Alan had there well child checkups. Emma is 40 lbs (50%) and 42.5" tall (60%). She also got all her shots for kindergarten and we got the immunization record so we are good to go. Alan boy's height and weight is still off the charts at 39 lbs (95%+) and 40" tall (95%+).

Saturday morning we had a ward primary activity. The kids all hunted for Easter candy and the had hot dogs. Fun was had by all. Somehow by the end of the day Scott and I were both getting a little cabin fevery so we loaded up the kids and had a picnic dinner at the "Castle Park." I don't know its real name, but the kids call it the castle park and if you are familiar with Pleasant Grove you know what one I am talking about. Despite loosing track of Alan several times (it is kinds hard to see everything at the castle park and

Alan gets very excited and likes to run) a great time was had by all. My mom called while I was in the volcano with Alan and in the amount of time it took me to answer it I had to say "Hey Mom I need to call you back, Alan slid out of the Volcano and now I can't find him." That goes on the list of thing I never would have expected to say before becoming a mother. Logan was such a cute big boy. He loved to climb all over the castle part and then slide down and say "Weeee." There is a lot more story about Logan, but that is for another day.

When we got home the kids when right to bed and then I passed out at like 8:30 and was totally out until about 8 the next morning. I never sleep like that, but I was so tired I couldn't help it.

Monday Emma started the reading program at her preschool. She brought home a book called Mat, which she was able to sound out the letters and read the first 3 pages to me. I was so surprised and amazed because a few months ago she couldn't even tell me the sounds most the letters made. She is doing so well in school. In other news she has also started regularly praying that our new house will be a puppy house, meaning a puppy can live there. It is really cute, and may be starting to wear me down a little. But I know that if we have a dog I will be the one taking care of it and I still feel like my 3 little monkey are enough I don't really want to throw a dog into the mix. We had a super fun FHE at the Mickelsons. Spence, Jannie, and fam are in town this week and wanted to see everyone so a lot of us got together and made pizza and hung out. It was kinda a spur of the moment kind thing. It was so fun and Emma and Alan loved playing with their cousins.
Emma and I have also been having a lot of fun trying new hair styles. Here are a few we did this past week that we just had to take a picture of. Although I think they looked a lot cuter in real life than they do in the pictures.



That is our little bit of this and that.

So Pretty

We went in on Saturday to the design center. It was so FUN and surprisingly easy. They schedule 8 hour appointments and it took us like 3 and a half hours. Sadly we still have to go back on Friday because they didn't have the custom elevation rendering ready for us to sign off on. That really is our own fault since we gave them changes the day before our appointment. So here is what we picked.This is it, this is my house in a nut shell. The paint and carpet samples look a little pinkier in the picture than they did in real life, but you get the idea. We are doing the dark wood cabinet color in the white cabinet's style. My kitchen island will be the white color with an ebony glaze (like in the cabinets) with bead board sides. The light colored granite will be on the kitchen counters and we picked stainless appliances. We are doing the dark wood laminate(it has our knobs and drawer pulls in it in the picture) on the kitchen and the dining nook floors. The large light tan tile will run on a diagonal from the entry all the way to the garage door. And the tile looking vinyl on the right will be in the upstairs bathrooms. And the pretty tile in the left corner will be around the fireplace. All the wood will be maple with a toffee stain and ebony glaze like the cabinets and all the metal finishes will rubbed bronze. and the dark granite next the the white marble will be in the master bath. And I picked out the cutest doors that have raised bead board panels.

This is what the bathroom fixtures will look like.

And this is the light that will be hanging in the entry way (except it will be in the rubbed bronze color)

So there you have it. I can't wait for it to be built so we can move in and start decorating. After living in rentals for the past 6 years it will be so nice to finally have a place of our own. Althought we know that building house can be a long and lame process so we are just praying that everything will go smoothly and we can move in before Emma starts school in the fall.

GrowingUp.com

I think it is totally cute that lately Alan has added .com to his vocabulary. Today he came up to me with something he made out of Mega Blocks and told me "This is my water machine 3000, you can find it at NickNack.com." I am not sure if that is how you spell NickNack.com, but you get the idea. He is such a creative kid.

Our First House!!!!!

Today we were told that all the papers have been approved, so I am super excited to announce that we are building our first house and we will be moving to Farmington in Aug-Sep. We will go into the design center tomorrow to finalize all the design stuff.

So this is a basic rendering of what the out side will look like. I love the two story craftsman look.

This is the floor plan, not showing the unfinished basement. It is not exact. We are changing a few things like making the dining room a study, 2 extra feet on the back of the house, the laundry room upstairs, moving the door from the garage over so you walk into the mud room, putting the bay in the nook, and a few other things, but you get the idea.

These pictures were taken in the model home. This is looking into the family room from the dining nook.
This is from the family room looking into the dining nook and the kitchen.

The hall looking into the kitchen and where the study will be. I love all the arches.

This is from the stairs looking into the living room. We are not doing a fireplace in the living room, but we are putting one in the family room. And you can't totally tell, but the entry is double height or what ever you call it.

This is looking into the master bed room. our house will not have a ceiling fan. But I love the arch dividing the main room from sitting area.

This is once again the master bedroom the small arch goes into the bathroom.

This is the master bath.

And last but not least a shot of the upstairs hall way. I am so happy that we will have 5 bedrooms on one level so that we can have our 8 kids and keep them all close.

Today was a good day

Nothing extraordinary happened today. Today I got up with the kids, got all of us ready and out the door by 9am, and got Emma to school on time. I feel satisfied that while Emma was at school I did a few returns, bought groceries for the week, and went to the post office. It was such a beautiful day that when we got home I let the kids play out front with bubbles while I brought the groceries in and then we stayed outside and played a little more before having lunch and putting Logan down for his nap. Scott was home so while Logan slept I took Emma and Alan on a walk to a park. We played on the play ground and a little soccer too. Then after we got home I changed a smelly little boy fresh from his nap and rested a little before making a yummy dinner. And then gave the boys a bath before getting them all down for bed. I know it is nothing special, but after how I have been feeling it was nice to have such a normal day. There are so many magical moments in every normal day and it was nice to see them. I loved seeing my sweet Emma sitting in the grass lit by the sun sharing her new bubbles with her brothers and Logan trying so hard to blow bubbles. I loved watching Emma and Alan run across grass to the park so cute and eager. They were so cute kicking the ball to Mommy. All and all it was a good day.

Is there a still a baby in your tummy?

Today Alan boy was sitting next to me on the couch and we had a conversation that went as follows:

Alan asked, "Is there still a baby in your tummy?"

I said, "nope."

Alan - "Because it had to go back to Heavenly Father." (it was not a question)

"Yeah buddy, it just wasn't ready yet."

"It still had to get dressed at Heavenly Father's house and then it will be ready."

I love the way the mind of a child works, especially my Alan. Love you buddy.

Loss

Loss is the best word for how I feel right now. When it comes to this past week I find myself at a loss of words and although I am doing as well as can be expected there are still moments where all I feel is loss.

Thursday started off like any other day. Jenny called and the kids and I met up with her and her girls at Kangaroo Zoo. The kids had a blast and it was nice to get out with them and have a little low key fun after the excitement of Alan's birthday on Tuesday and the party at Sue's house on Wednesday. I was actually really looking forward to blogging about how proud I was of Emma and Alan. They climbed all the hard to climb ladders and had no fear on the huge slides.

Anyway, that afternoon when we got home is when I first noticed that something could be wrong. Scott was still at school and I was anxious for him to get home. As the day went on I started "spotting." I was sad and scared and didn't really know what to do. I didn't have a doctor for this pregnancy yet, and all of my past pregnancies had always been basically perfect. Plus niether Scott's Mom or my Mom had ever had a miscarraige. I just kept hoping that everything would be fine. After we put the kids to bed I had Scott give me a blessing. As soon as he did I knew I was going to lose this baby, but I still managed to deny it for another few hours. By 11pm I couldn't deny it any longer and we had to go to the ER. Thanks again to Guy and then to Mom and Dad for coming over and staying with the kids. We checked into the ER a little after midnight on Friday the 13th and didn't get home until about 3:30 am. They did a ton of lame tests and spent forever doing the ultrasound. The ultrasound was the worse part, because at 7 weeks he should have been able to see something, but he just kept moving the thing around and not saying anything. I was so glad to have Scott there. Basically when we left they told us we were most likely losing the baby, but they couldn't say for sure because they couldn't get a clear enough picture of what was happening on the ultra sound. By Friday morning there was no question that I was losing this baby.

This whole experience has helped me to realize how truly blessed I am. I have felt so much comfort from my Father in Heaven. A miscarriage was always one of my worst fears and I have been surprised that I have been able to deal with everything as well as I have. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who has done so much to help and support me through all of this. I have been blessed with 3 beautiful wonderful children. I have wonderful family, friends, and ward. And I was blessed to have this happen when it did. For some reason I feel like never seeing, hearing, or feeling the baby makes the loss hurt a little bit less. Any woman who has ever been pregnant knows that from the moment you find out you are expecting you are in love with your child. You fall in love with the idea of who that little person will be and the idea of holding a new tiny perfect little person in your arms. The loss of that idea is what I feel most now, but since it happened so early and since they said it seems like it just wasn't growing, I don't feel like I lost having that perfect little person in my life. I know in my heart that there is a sweet little spirit still waiting to come to our family and that when the time is right she will. For now I have to be patient and know that my time is not the Lord's time.

Alan's Birthday Party

For a while Alan wanted to do everything for his birthday, then we got it down to just a few things for his birthday, and in the end he had to choose one thing, so we all went to Chuck E. Cheese's. Alan had a wonderful time. He was such a sweet and happy birthday boy. There were no meltdowns until after we got home and he was getting ready for bed (over an hour after his normal bed time.) He was so nice to be willing to share all of his new toys with Emma and Logan. Check out all those presents! He got cars and a puzzle (thanks Mom), a shark (thanks Eric), a Kite and Playdough set (thanks Mom and Dad), Tigger Rain Boots, a Handy Manny Repair Radio, a Cash Register, and the Yo Gabba Gabba DJ Lance Dance hat. I am still shocked that he ended up with so much stuff. Although I think that his favorite was the silly balloon ball thing that we got as party favors for all the kids.

Racing Daddy. Alan was really driving, but he couldn't reach the pedals so Daddy helped him out.

Hey guys what's so funny?

Alan with his Orca ,Wubbzy, Dragon cake (yes, the three are unrelated, but that's what Alan wanted). He was so worried when he got up this morning and the Orca wasn't on the cake yet. I guess having a killer whale jumping over your cake is very important.

I was surprised at how well he actually played. I think he even won :) It was so fun to have Mom and Dad, Dan, Ludy, Tom, Eric, Jake, and Kev there with us. I know it made Alan feel that much more special.

Logan didn't want to get on any of the rides

Emma was the only one who wanted to get this close to Chuck

Here is another shot of Alan's Orca, Wubbzy, Dragon cake. The idea is an island with a sleeping dragon in a cave with Wubbzy doing the whole free willy thing as the orca jumps over the island. That could happen right? And the dragon is cake. Alan made it very clear that he wanted to have the dragon be his special piece of cake. And it says "Wow Wow Alan is 3!" If you have seen Wubbzy you know why.
I realized last year when Alan turned two he had a Diego Dinosaur cake, and this year when he turned 3 he had an Orca Wubbzy Dragon cake, so next year when he turns 4 maybe it will be a soccer, shark, spider man, lizard cake. :)

My Alan boy is 3 years old today!!!

I can't believe that my little Alan is 3 years old. To me it seems like he has always been 2. Maybe that is because he was walking at nine months and speaking in full sentences by 14 months. (by the way in the black and white pic to the left he is 2 days old). Or maybe it's because since the day he was born he has seemed to think that he is the same age as Emma. Either way he is such a sweet and amazing little boy.
So now he is 3. He seems to grow so much I barely believe how much he has changed this year. One new thing for Alan this year is that he loves going to his "school" (nursery). When he first started going to nursery, it took a little over 6 months before I finally just left him there. He would always be so afraid to be left somewhere with out me or Scott. But now he seems so much more outgoing and he loves going to his school. Even with this last move, on the first Sunday he just ran right in to nursery and didn't even look back.
He is also getting so much better with his numbers and letters. For some reason learning has always just come very easily to him. He recognizes most letters, spells his name, and can actually read/recognize about 7 different words like Alan, cat, dog, ladybug, and Emma. He is really looking forward to starting preschool in the fall and amazes me daily with his ever expanding vocabulary.
And to my great joy he is basically potty trained and pretty much did it all on his own. I am not even allowed to help. He is not in "little" boy underwear yet, but that is mostly because I am scared and not because he isn't ready. I am sure any day now I will bite the bullet and get out his new underwear.
I just love my sweet Alan boy so much. He is just so good, and loving, and caring, and such a bright spot in my life. I am so blessed to have had him these past 3 years and I am blessed to know that I will have him forever.
We love you Alan!!!

Has this ever happened to you?

Ok, so you put your kids to bed and you go down stairs. Then about 20 mins later your 4 year old just starts crying and basically freaking out. She comes down the stairs, tears rolling down her face and she says to you, "I was cuddling Jesus and then I swallowed him." You think you must not have heard her correctly so you ask "what?" and through the sobs she repeats "I was cuddling Jesus and I swallowed him." Then you feel bad because instead of panicking you start to laugh.

I know what you are thinking...Oh yeah that happened to me just yesterday. Well yesterday that did happen to me. In primary they gave all the kids those little clear glass pebble type things with a picture of Jesus on the back. They were instructed to take good care of them so none of their little brothers or sisters would choke on them. And last night Emma got hers out after we put her to bed, was playing with it and apparently had it in her mouth when she accidentally swallowed it. When she came downstairs it was apparent that she was breathing fine and her crying sounded more upset than in pain so I guess that is why I found it more funny than worrisome. I called her pediatrician today and they said as long as she is not complaining about any stomach or back pain she should be fine and it should pass in about 3 days. And Emma learned a valuable lesson.

Happy Anniversary

It is a little hard to believe that 6 years ago today Scott and I got married... at 7:30 am. Wow time sure flies when you are having fun! Our wedding day is such a sweet, happy, perfect memory for me and now here we are 6 years later and I have been able to add so many more beautiful memories to it. Happy Anniversary! I love you Scott.

Since our anniversary was on a Sunday this year Scott and I started celebrating it yesterday. Eric was so nice to come over and babysit the kids while we went out. Thanks Eric! He usually comes over and watches them after we put them to bed. When we got home I could tell he was feeling a little overwhelmed but the kids were all still alive and the house was still standing and Logan threw a fit when he didn't get to go home with Eric so he must have done a great job. Scott and I had dinner at LaVignia. The food was wonderful and the company was even better.

This morning Scott got up with the kids and made me breakfast in bed. It was very good, but I was so tired (and a little bit sick) that I fell back asleep with the plate on the bed. Then tonight we had a little family birthday party after all a wedding really is the birth of a brand new family. The kids were a little confused when I told them we were having strawberry short cake for dessert. Alan said "but Strawberry short cake has blood in her, are we going to eat blood?" and when Emma got her piece she said "This doesn't look like Strawberry Short Cake." I kept trying to explain that she was named after this dessert.

Anyway it was a very nice day and I am so glad that we have an eternity of anniversaries to look forward to.This picture was taken at Bridal Veil Falls. Scott and I had only know each other 2 days. It was such a fun day. We were married 179 days later!

Ohh we look so cute and young and in love!

Shelley's Cake

Here is the cake I made for Shelley's open house. I don't think it looks as good in the pictures as it did in person. But I think Shelley liked it so I guess that is all that matters.

Also thanks for the help picking out a picture for her. In the end I printed the first choice. I was going to print out 2 of them and let her choose, but my printer decided that it doesn't print anymore and I was only able to print out the one picture.

Please Read This and Tell Me What You Think

I was the photographer for my dear friend Chantel's little sister's wedding today. It was so much fun and great to see all Nebekers again. Anyway Shelley asked me to print and bring to her open house tomorrow. She wants 1 8x10 sepia picture from today. She told me to pick one that was romantic and kissing preferred. So I would like a few opinons. I am not sure how many people will even see this, but I have to print the picture out by Noon tomorrow (Saturday) so it you see this let me know which of the sepia pics is your favorite. I am also throwing in a few that I just happen to like. Thanks.

The happy couple

Mother and Daughter

Joy

Doesn't she look BEAUTIFUL?

Choice #1

Choice #2

Choice #3

Choice #4